Well... two days of able to wake up early to do my qt. n stuff. The battles still rages in me.. continuing the way God wants is tough.. many a times feel like cryin.. guess its never easy to be filled with the Spirit.. somehow feel tt i am in control by sinful desires.. God, i admit.. i can never be able to withstand all tis stuff without yer help.. Its only you who can help me.. grant me strength, to resist the ways tt arent pleasing to you Lord.
Feeling very depressed.. lost. Was lookin thru, the newspaper on the health. See the article.. somehow reminded of the painful past.. does it help.. i dunno. Lookin at myself now.. i feel even more demoralised.. Condition seems to be gettin worst each day.. jus feel like diggin a hole n hide in there.. mind is being bombarded by lotsa of things.. mostly feelings cause by the past.. i guess. Suppressed deep inside.. e hurt, pain coming out.. Rejection is something i really feel.. due to my sickness.. sometimes pple on the surface seems okay, but their eyes n body reaction kinda betrays it. i really dunno.. really dunno... wats things going to be like.. it simply hurts...
