Something seems to be heavy upon my heart.... but cant confirm wat its abt. Or is it.. i knew wat it is.. but somehow jus dunnno want to face it.. runing away frm it?? Hmmm... Havent been sleepin well.. sometimes ly down on the bed.. tossing n turnin..
Man grp.. another almost sleepless nitez.. some guys play thru e nitez e soccer on ps 2.. i was sleepin at the side. Didnt really sleep.. thing is still inside my heart.. but still dunno wat exactly it is.. combination of alot of things ba.. i guess.. Thurs nite couldnt sleep so decided to dig out the old letter box. containing letters frm my frens.. glance thru some of time. reminded me of the pple whom i hav hurt last time. Sudden pang of guilt n shame came over me... thing i hav done to them.. i finally realise how they feel now.. its never a good feeling.. being torn apart by emotions, emptiness, darkness seems overwhelming. How i wish i have done things in a better way, really wish i could apologise to them.. but when i see them will i really have the courage to say sorry.. i really dunno.. Children's camp n kaleo camp approachin.. still kinda stress out by k camp stuff.. watever..
Interestin thing happened today, dunno wat i was thinkin of.. as well. Took metal spoon n fork eat kway chup.. wat am i doing.. shouldnt i be using chopsticks n e ceramic spoon. ahh.. tts not all ... i simply grab the food n walk off without PAYING!!! Goodness.... the auntie also didnt stop me.. ahhh. later when big bun tell me.. "u must be too stress.. didnt pay for yer food.." i got a shock... but he paid for me.. wanted to pay him back but he refuse to accept it.. thk God for a bro like him.. frankly speakin i dunno wat the heck i m doing. Jus feelin very sick n tired.. dunno whether can sleep or not tonite.. sound tomolo.. as well.. This month gonna be super hectic.. n coming months as well..
Lord bring me back to you, draw me into Yer Presence once again.. Need to trust You in alot of things.. Guide me O Lord..
