Song by Hoobastank

i'm not a perfect person.
There are many things i wish i didnt do but i continue learning.
I never meant to do those things to you and so i have to say before i go,
that i just want you to know
I've found a reason for me,
to change who i used to be a reason to start over new,
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that i hurt, its something
I must live with everyday and all the pain i put you through,
I wish that i could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears,
thats why i need you to hear i'm not a perfect person,
I never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go that

i just want you to know i've found a reason for me,
to change who i used to be a reason to start over new,
and the reason is you
i've found a reason to show a side of me
you didnt know a reason for all that i do,
and the reason is you

---------------------------------

nothing to much to say abt... its a nice song. Cant remember the title of the show.. as well. Wanted to watch it when its out in sg.. tv but somehow i didnt manage to catch it.. =}

Rescue part 2

God really do it in a wonderful way.. it really shows how powerful, almighty He is.. all knowing, loving Father. Close shave happen how many times?? Sunday, evening time, when i was opening the gate to the hse.. "bang" got a shock... a rugby ball fly out n hit the fence near to me.. if the ball were to hit me.. i would be death or badly injure... couple of days back.. the bicycle incident.. yesterday... cycling back home.. on seeing they arent any cars coming so i decided to cross the small junction. only then i realise i was on top of a slope. so of cos i cant see any car coming.. i cycle halfway across the junction.. the bicycle.. failed.. no matter how hard i pedal.. it wouldnt move.. it wasnt chain drop.. some how it jus refused to move.. rite at this moment, a car appeared. i was panicking.. i pedal furiously to get it going.. suddenly it work n i was on the pavement... even if the car were to slow down.. i will still be hit.. cos the driver wouldnt be able to see me.. until he reach the top.. thank God.. Simply says one thing.. everything is in God's control.. have to trust in Him.. indeed. Jus fixed up my bicycle.. now the back brakes are working well.. gear is now more stable.. =)

Rescue

You are the source of the life
I can't be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of you
I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There's no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow you
This world has nothing for me
I will follow You
This world has nothing for me
I will follow You

***This song IS copywrited! its by Desperation***

indeed Lord, rescue me.. you are all that i need.. bring me closer to you, Lord. Broken lives, broken hearts, pain, stress, pressure.. all i bring to you. Indeed, where else can i go but to you, the One and only God.

Today..

Attended Hope Brisbane Church the 2nd time this time.. more open n able to worship God better. Charismatic church n kinda different from gefc. Had a enjoyable time.. more refreshed.. n more awake.. but still i dunno how i manage to enter the female toilet.. when it kinda obvious. thank God there wasnt anyone inside. Well. different angle.. the sign jus look so diff. hmmm.

now sitting here.. typin this, startin to miss pple again. Jus alone.. feeling abit cold.. actually i dunno how i feel exactly.. I should be happy God is still accompanying me still. Somehow the day i knew i was flyin off. Already knew tt some things will be lost n never be retrieve again.. things will be so different.. n its so frightening. Cant even fore see wat will happen exactly.. Then again things will be lost but also things will be gain in the process of it.. growing up process i guess. At times.. its saddening to think abt it.

Everyday esp during walkin home or to sch.. look ard.. jus feel so foreign in this place. So big.. so vast.. everything so diff. feel so small in this place.. Even as the wind blows.. thoughts of good times n bad times come back.. frens.. n family no ard.. being fully independent.. being throw into this big world fighting for survival. Sometimes jus wish tt i could understand my feeling better. nonetheless i still have God.. who is always faithful... n ever caring. Have decided to keep some words hidden inside my heart.. stash it away somewhere.. even thought i really wish i could jus say it out.. Probably once stash away.. it will never come out again. Its simply jus like giving up things.. at least still have God who truely knew my heart.. n how i feel exactly..

Alone..

Well.. had a chat with kelvin.. couple of days back.. he mention abt being lonely over here.. surviving on our own.. At least i arent so bad.. i thought so.. haha. Now startin to feel it.. same feelin i had when i step pass the gates.. had so many words hidden deep inside my heart.. jus simply wish i could jus say them all out.. somehow i chose not to. probably end up cryin on the spot. haiz...

Now weather is gettin colder.. far away frm home.. miss e family n frens' feeling. So far away.. Jus hope i could be able to spend more time with Uncle SP n family.. the feeling so nice.. warm family feeling.. the laughter, love, warmth, togetherness. Dun want to trouble them so much.. no matter how.. i still a outsider. almost had a bad accident.. could be fatal i guess. Riding on my bicycle.. travellin very fast down the steep slope.. simply slipped my mind.. tt down the road there are two trees on each side.. the road was enough only for a single car to pass thru... as i saw the tree i simply jus shifted to one side.. but the impt thing was tt surrounding the tree area was a pavement extension..

Tried slowing down but its was too late. hit n went up the pavement at a great speed.. for a moment my bike was in the air.. realise a car by heading in my direction.. quite near as well.. the next moment i thought tt it.. my bike landed.. to my surprise the bike didnt skid n fall to a side.. but instead it landed with a great impact. maange to stablise it.. the car went pass it.. at the same time.. thought its over.. realise the back brake of my bike had become very loose.. upon the impact.. no matter how hard i try to squeeze it, no effect at all.. i used the front brakes.. but due to the speed.. brakes cant really work as effective. but by God's grace... i manage to stop the bike before hitting a tree in front of me.. yupz.. time to sleep also.. rest ba..

Groceries//

haiz.. headache.. looking for foodstuff can never be so tedious. Where to get cheap fresh food.. wats easy to cook.. wats the next meal be like.. will i be able to reach to the shop in time? so many to ponder upon. Been cookin decent meals.. (same everyday).. hmm. cant believe i actually cant differentiate glutinous rice n plain rice.. bought glut rice instead.. end up havin to eat it for the wk.. sticky.. tough to convert it into fried rice.. well wat to do..

Jus now.. always collided into a tree.. cant see.. in the dark clearly... well thank God everything was fine.. jus tt the brakes of the bike need to be tightenend.. for a moment i thought tt it.. somemore e road on tt part is only for one car to pass. then there was a one car approaching my directon. getting colder each nite.. time to sleep liaoz.. late..

Valentine Poem (original 1st draft)

Wonderful & Marvelous creations of God
Ever loving, ever caring, ever gentle
Carrying a smile that warms our hearts
With beautiful and angelic voices praising the Lord
Making songs soothing and wonderful to the ears
Always filling the place with joy and laugther
Making the place warm and homely

With faithfulness serving the Lord
Providing support and help in many areas
Be it on the front or behind scenes
Always serving with humbleness and a cheerful heart
Thanks for the wonderful, delicious home made food
Thanks for travelling with us in this life journey
Thanks for the concern, encouragement and support
Thank God for putting such wonderful sister in our life
Last but not least, Happy Valentine's Day!

Shopping spree....

Walk n walk n walk n walk.. been walking ard since morning.. wat a way to exercise.. under the hot n burning sun.. practically drained now... All the walking becos i went on a shopping spree.. well its not the kind where u buy wat u like. but instead it is buyin all the bare essentials.. cooking stuff, house hold stuff.. really can kill. Prices here are like sky high.. so hard to find cheap stuff to buy. Nites n evening n early morning is gettin colder now.. brrrrr.

Also thank God for His provision n guidance. Richard really help me alot today.. thank God for him.. carryin stuff n walkling with me.. bringing me ard to diff places to get stuff. As well as givin me lotsa of advice. Also settled down liaoz.. still left couple of stuff. yet to be bought. once done. shouldnt be a problem.

Still miss lotsa of pple.. esp those close.. n all my loved ones.. as well. haiz.. feelin will be there, have to remember wat i came here for.. maybe it times to sleep... *Yawnz....*

Really wonder...

Is it better to jus speak out the things inside.. n let it be known or better to keep quiet abt it. Something tt the other person will never hear or get to know abt it. Such things always stun... no idea on whether is it better either way.Would it have make any difference if its been say out??

In my new home... meet couple of pple ard... really nice pple over here.. Got to know a guy richard, frm sg as well.. gave me lotsa of advice on living n gettin cheap stuff. Talk abt finding soul mate over here in Oz... haha.. Quite interesting both of us agreed tt now ladies in sg are gettin more materalistic.. imagine looking at newspapers sg guys have to go overseas.. to find a soul mate.. The C's ladies are after.. as well.. Well... regarding the issue of gettin attached.. put it simple.. let nature take its cse.. God allows n leads me.. well i might find one.. the same old question still bugs me alot..

Gettin late... lectures started. hard to understand the lecture.. really need lotsa of researxh to be done on my own.. gotta continue to trust in the Lord's provision n guidance. yupz.. should get some sleep liaoz.. tomolo will be a long long day. As well as super busy..