well...

THis week is suppose to a break but end up.. hav to go to sch everyday to do assignment.. ahhh. project n assignment n preparation for EXAMS!!! Wow.. seems so packed n hectic. it is ahhhhh.. Well the most comforting thing is i still can turn to God for help. He is the only one tt can help me through n turn the situation ard.. hey time for a change.. aye.. yeah.

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Its been so long... ever realise its all in a circle.. spinning round and round.. till a person simply like huh.. i have been walking ard in circle hmm.. After the talk with Big Bun, the JiJi realise something... circles.. tt all it abt. Its still jus her... all along. But somehow the feelings are jus simply locked.. n the key is either throw away or stack somewhere. Its jus walking ard in circles.. in the end it leads back to her again.

Something the JiJi asked himself.. if ever theres a time.. he will see her again on the streets or anywhere.. she is holding someone elses hand. Would he shed tears again.. would it be tears of joy for her or tears of sadness becos he has never told her abt how he feel towards her.

Still remember the time, JiJi saw her holding the hands of a guy, smiling happily. The whole world seem to collasped upon him... n he simply jus teared. That was the tears of sadness. Now coming to the same point again.. Wat would he do if he ever seen her again in the same kind of situation? This is wat he told himself... he should be happy for the her. Thk God tt she has found a better person. Prayin for them tt it will last till marriage till old age. Shedding tears of joy for her instead of tears of sadness.

Feelings are there.. probably will be since she's the first love of JiJi. The fact is she will never see this blog, probably nvr know how he still feel towards her. How he wish he could jus tell her how much he miss her, jus to see her smile... =)

Evax on Friday..

jus want to blog this out.. suddenly got thought passin in my mind.. cant catch hold of it.. so blog this first.. yeah

Its was indeed a dark n gloomy nite.. really windy n chilly.. we gather in the chapel as usual before going out evangelism.. i was like kinda wonderin evax at nite.. will there even be anyone to approach? tt nite there was a multi-cultural festival goin on as well in sch. so i mus admit i am quite skeptical yupz. Nonetheless it went ahead. Charis ask us to spend couple of minutes.. prayin to God for anything words or impression or vision. At first.. i find it hard to focus on God n listen to Him.. still bother by the bird attack in the morning. 2nd time in a wk.. Jus pray n try my best to focus.. slowly manage to get the focus back.. prayin to God whether is there anything tt He wants me to know n share out to others..

Slowly there was this darkness engulfing ard me.. was wondering wat this.. started to become even darker. i was wonderin.. something wrong? suddenly the picture change to mountains in the darkness, cold n chilly.. after awhile it changed again to a ship in the sea surrounded by darkness.. its seems to be more confusing.. then the picture changed again.. i saw a dark tunnel.. so dark.. then a light appeared.. n tts the end of the whole picture i saw while praying to God. I was like piecing all of them together tryin to figure out wats it all abt.

Suddenly everything became clear.. this was wat it was..

Darkness: Alot of pple who still in the darkness have not see the light (God)

Tunnel and light: Everyone fears when they are alone in the darkness, where there is light in the darkness it gives hope n sight for the person.. wanderin n lost.

Ship in the sea: Pple are still lost n blinded waiting to hear the Good News..

Mountains: Shepherd will travel even in the darkness to find His sheep and not give up, over the mountains, rivers, like the song "His Sheep am I"

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Sums up.. we were given the command to reach out to pple, sharing the good news of God. Be the light in the darkness, bringing in lost pple. I believe this is it. All i need to confirm certain stuff. yupz.. One of the things i been praying for as well.. compassion... Time to move out..

Dancing for the Lord of the dance

Finally, i have overcome the fear of dancing infront of alot of pple. NOt said i am no longer afraid but instead i will be more willing to take part. By God grace, the dance went smoothly.. during the last rehearse..abt half n hr ago.. i forget my moves.. n kinda like stun on the stage.. everything seems to stop. n pple at the bottom was like staring at me.. wow. i was like sweating.. n stress out. Indeed He is the Lord of the dance. Christmas is coming hear tt there is a dance too yeah i am going for it.. really pray hard tt i can make it. In Him all things are possible!

The Shepherd

Worries crease the forehead with wrinkles
Looking forth the horizon, darkness falls
Every step He took, calling out constantly
Over the steep sharp rocks, slipping and falling

Constantly He look around, eyes focusing in the dark
Sweats flow down His brow and sides, in weariness He continues
Calling out constantly, pushing on even when He's tired
Never resting, never slacking, fervently He searched

Cowering in the corner, a little sheep shivers
Braying away, fear gripped it
Many times it has wondered away
Into the dark unknown, where danger lies

A name was hear, the little sheep hears a tapping sound
Slowly it peeks out of the corner, again it hears its name
Braying even louder, slowly moving out of the corner
Soon a dark figure appeared infront of it

Frightened it was at the sight of the figure.
Stumbling it tried run away and hide
Strong, tender hands reach out to hold it
A gentle voice calls out it's name.

Happiness and joy filled the little sheep
Tears falling from the sherpherd's eyes.
Gently saying, "I am here, do not be afraid"
Cuddling the little sheep, heading back home

Where the pastures are always green
Where waters are always clear and refreshing
Back in the safe arms of the Sherpherd
That little sheep am I.

I dun really know wat to write today.. got some stuff on my mind. but jus couldnt get it out.. its good positive stuff. i suppose heez.. Things still bright now... a change is required.. life tt needs to be tidied up.. clearing up the mess.

Waiting still....when will appear.. haiz..

Waiting for the blue black to appear.. on my left foot n right knee.. Got stepped on my foot by someone wearing shoe.. it still hurt but after rubbin it.. the blue black still dun come out.. knee is doing something stupid.. n end up crashing into a bench n table.. Sometimes.. its kinda fun.. doing stupid things.. but mus be more careful..
SHouldnt hav done it.. too late for regrets... haiz.

Jus cant stop loving u...

haha.. so whoever readin this. might probably think.. who the gal?? =P nah nah nah.. its Jesus i am refering to. He holds me close in His arms, never let me go.. The extent of His love touches my heart.. thought i still fail Him fall.. Darkness seems overwhelming.. He still rescues me!! always..

Becos of HIs love.. i simply jus cant stop loving Him.. simply jus cant stop falling in love with Him..

Surrounding me..

Hmm.. jus kinda startin to worry abt pple ard me.. alot of things seems to be happening to them.. Jus dunno how to approach to ask.. n dunno wat to say... I hope i am not neglecting my bro n sis ard me.. been busy with sch stuff n etc.. hmm best way is to pray for them.. i suppose.

Take care my dear bro & sisters!