Dance..

Well well well.. i am learning to dance haha. It sound abit strange aye. Hmmm still remember my bad experience with dancing.. It was during pri. sch. did something wrong.. n end up leaving my partner standin in the middle of a basketball court. The girl was super angry n my teacher was also super angry. Well.. things can still go wrong aye.

BUt nonetheless.. i decided to overcome this fear.. n join the dancing.. practise for church anniversary.. thought i keep forgettin lotsa of move.. i will still continue to practise n learn it. It for God i am doin it.. yeah. Its really fun.. today was quite funny.. end up my foot got step on quite hard by someone.. hmm.. the bruise would probably appear in couple of days.. should be okay heez. Dancing is fun!!!

Perfect Day n Running after YOU!!

PErfect day.. would be the day Christ enter my life.. indeed it is.. tt where all the transformation slowly take place.. till who i am now. I still be transform. No matter how painful, tough, i still mus press on n run after God.

Being 24...

24 yrs have past in a glance.. seems like its jus happened in one day.. hmm.. wat installed for me. haha. Wish i could go for the unidus n prayer mtg. but cant have to stay in sch work late for the project which started so late... thk God for answering my pray n now we hav a supervisor.

My 24th bday n is gonna be in sch.. wow.. how interesting this can get.. simply means ... i am older should be more wiser, responsible then before. Shouild be time for me to sleep.. i suppose. both my eyes are like totally blur n cant see clearly.. hmm..

Masque Soiree

Today was the day ... it should be yesterday. haha. first time have to wear suit, tie, long sleeves, pants n leather shoes plus a mask for the event. ultimate formal. liaoz.. feel so weird.. way too formal.. had a good time. At least can try once.. haha

Had quite a enjoyable time.. there are two best part to the play.. haha. one was when Rhys show his glory haha.. my jaws drop.. oh my.. it actually happened.. infront of so many pple.. i jus cant stop laughing.. The next best part was Isaac.. he dress like a girl.. i was like.. so stunned.. haha. He the best.. It was a great nite.. overall. =)

Glances into the time...

Its been half a yr since i left singapore on my own. Recently having lotsa of flashback.. ever since the hospital stay. Alot of things are zooming thru my mind. Its time to take a look back wat happened, analyse, learn n move to improve my life and walk with God.

The day tt. i got onto the plane. The sadness seems so overpowering n tears would jus appear anything. I really wonder why am i here in brisbane? Y brisbane? y not anywhere. Are there regrets or other stuff. God leaded me here for a reason. I was practically dyin off in sg spiritually. I am in the dire straits.. n almost giving up. Overpowered by all the stuff going thru my mind. I would have started to stop attending church and stuff, even so if i am attending, it would be a routine jus to follow.. simply no feelings, commitment. I jus wanted to give up on so much stuff. Life is really down n down n down.. i dun even see any light.

I have been running away frm so many things. Caught so by the past, refusing to let it go. Even how hard i tried.. i still refuse to let go of it myself. Days n nites of sadness, brokeness, fear, tears, pain, depression... Simply wish i could jus disappear into thin air. The chains seems so hard to break, the darkness was so overwhelming in my life. Was in need of a release n freedom frm the darkness which tied me down.. I was jus running away n avoiding everything to the extent i am so tired of it. Tired of numbing myself till it hurts so much. till it seems i am totally jus pain..

It was the same almost everyday.. n all the way even when i touch down into brisbane. Things slowly started to change.. In a new enivronment, things change n freshened up. God is slowly reviving my life everyday over here in brisbane. Its seems like i am running away frm things again. It was at the beginning. Coming to a point in time i slowly commit it to God. Casting my anxiety n burden unto Him.. He didnt even wait for a moment.. jus as i have been in sch for the 2nd or 3rd day.. i meet President Xi (hahaha) ... i was sitting there alone in sch on the bench.. I am kinda like a fallen away christian.. "lost sheep" venturing out into other places. God, my sherpherd hasnt given up on me all this while. I was like invited to attend a bbq which i missed haha. i got the time mixed up n also feel like running ard instead of joining them too. It might be a good choice haha. I was like kinda hesitant n wanted to explore abit more n find a suitable place. I jus wanted more options.

The strangest part is the more i run away frm CCM.. the more they came appearing before me. Let put it this way.. i went back to sch..to like check out some stuff. yeah.. i thought y not go check out if there is any club hse in sch then maybe can pop in n visit all th christian grps. Well sad to speak.. there isnt any club hse... end up waiting for the market day. It finally came.. i was walking out.. to Kidney lawn. Whoa there was so much pple ard. there the tentage was there infront of me. i walk ard.. havin a look. was like wanting to to walk inside but i hav crowd phobia.. so decided man.. jus go home... somehow instead of walking on the pavement.. i was drawn towards road.. n walking down. Somehow the christian grps was seem to be hidden away frm my sight. As i walk. the first christian grp appeared infront of me. Guess wat, its CCM. I was thinking should i jus walk over there n find out more. Even before i was like able to make up my mind i am already slowly walking towards the booth. hmmm. then again Mr President Xi appeared out of no where.. Ninja???? haha jus kidding. after couple of mins there.. the guy with the cap appeated n starting to talkin to me as well. He none other then Mr Vun Jie Lun kekeke.. think tt his chinese name.

Well the talking went on for a while.. he actually invited me to care grp, church. Was persuaded to join ccm. In my mind i was thinking i want to try other grps.. available but somehow i was getting tired of walking.. so i though i might come another day.. but i was left with little choice.. cos the market day is only one day in Garden's Point. So i thought might as well. I am in... I mus admit.. i was still strayin away frm God still.. tt friday was care grp day. i was like kinda forgotten abt it. i was with my hse mate.. in the city havin a drink. suddenly it pop into my mind.. i look at the timing.. its was like 6pm.. hmm. so i thought should i try to go down still... i called alvin.. n somehow God works in a way we can nvr imagine. i still manage to get there.. To me i was thinking its more like a social visit still i didnt want to join as yet. Well. i mus admit.. God somehow make CCM like a superglue.. i kinda like stuck there haha.. Now i am with Daniel Five, a great n marvelous grp.. energetic, fun loving, FRESH pple. =) Fact is i am stuck n not only tt.. i am stuck to God even closer then before. Starting to attending church.. but i didnt change much i mus admit.

The real change came...on tt faithful nitez. haha. it might sound abit funny... tt nite was kinda gloomy n rainy... cold n wet nite. Was attending the combine prayer mtg. Tt was the nite where my life was totally shaken up.. opened up. Alvin was giving a lesson on the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. I first heard abt it.. quite some time back. After i heard abt how Mel life changed after being baptised by the Holy Spirit. I was rather keen on it. I mean if it really make me yearn for God more, n outgoing for Him..i would give it a shot. I was dearly in need of a spiritual revival in my life. My life really changed tt nite. Its like being renewed n restored, my life slowly opened up.. i feel more joy in doing things, everything seems so much brighter then before.. Its like being flooded till overflowing with joy n fire for God. I am still changing still to be a better christian n Christ like. There still room for improvement.. and i will keep on pushing on n improving. one area of improvement is need of compassion for others. yeah.

There are lot of things to thk God for, thkful for pple who nvr give up on me. In sg, they been there for me.. even thought they might not know wat happening to me then.. i really thkful to God for puttin them in my life to support me n reminding me of Him in tt i didnt give up on God totally.

Thks to All Kaleo pple!

Special Thks
Men's grp: Pastor Andrew, Andy, Bun, Robert, Acts, Weijie, Hock, Lawrence, Daniel.
Brothers: Eddy, PC, Justin, John Wong, John Chew
Sisters in Christ: Su_lynn, Sze Sze, Sylvia, Mag, Alicia Boo, Alicia Lim, Lynn, Sharon, Angela, Grace

Compassion

Jus searched deep inside.. is there even a hint of compassion in my heart at all? Sometimes i really wonder where has all the compassion go to. I really don't have an idea of wat i can write abt.. on this blog regarding compassion. I am really really lack of compassion for others. Even at the point where it is most needed.. but where isit in my heart. Is it really tt hard to show compassion to others? Seriously, it seems abit hard.. unconsciously? hmm..

Ducks..

Jus now as i was cycling home.. saw ducklings at the museum's pools at the south bank. They are so cute, six of them actually so small n fragile they are with their mom n dad. swimming happily in the pool.

The family how did they manage to get to the pool area. All ard is roads, the river is also quite a distance frm the museum. Its really amazing.. the ducklings can fly.. unless they cling onto their parents n got air lifted there. Or it could jus simply be tt they walk all the way to the pool. Imagine a line of ducks walking along the pavement n even crossing roads? its kinda amazin to think abt it.

It reflects as well, God cares, loves His creation. He take cares of the birds n everything. God definitley loves us jus as much! yupz!

See something....

Rain clouds, thunders, lightnings.. it really gloomy. Its so cold n dark. Everything changes in a while, sun peek out frm teh clouds sending in bright rays of lights thru the spaces. Warm comes in... Sun still shines after the rain... n rainbow appears. Something tt i saw during the prayer mtg.. yeah.

Not matter how tough n difficult things can get in our life. It jus like the rain clouds, thunder, lightning, cold, dark gloominess. It can last very long.. but in the end the sun still shines. God is always there.. though we might not think so... cos the fact is sometimes we are really clouded by all the stuff going thru in our lives. God is faithful n loves us no matter wat. Rainbow in the bible is a covenant God has with Noah. God promises are also true, He is steadfast God, loving kindness nvr fails. We can always cling on to God's promises.. =)

Something tugging...

Something seems to be tuggin gently at my heart.. but wat it is exactly.. hmmm. Recently images of events frm the past, started appearing in my mind.. the good, bad, ugly.. I no longer feel the way i used to.. being tied down n feel depressed whenever the images come back.. aye. Now wat i feel is peace and gladness, thkfulness for everything tt happened. Really thk God tt i am being changed daily. Jus like the song by Steven Chapman Curtis states.

I was just a little kid when
I heard about You for the first time
And all I really, really knew for sure
Was You were God, I wanted to know You
And now the years have come and gone
I'm still singing that same song
You might think by now I would have reached the end
But the truth is...

I am only just beginning
I am only getting
Started to know You now
I'm only getting started
And when I start thinking I'm getting
Close to the end, You just smile at me and say
Hey, kid, you ain't seen nothing yet
I'm only getting started
I'm only getting started now

Now Your love it is an ocean
Deeper than my deepest notion
Your grace, it is the sky above
It just keeps on going forever
And with every new sunrise
You come and open up my eyes
Show me just a little more of You
And again I see that...

Song lyrics by Steven Chapman Curtis.

It is so wonder n marvelous how God works.. its true. Praise God.
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First time..

Wah.. wat a care grp. First time, playing guitar for care grp. Its like ultimate exp. wasnt prepare to... didnt even think abt it.. obviously i messed it up totally. Thk God.. Charis took over.. things become better.

Felt so nervous playing.. total mess up. But its not going to be the last time.. i gonna try harder n i wont jus fall down.. n sit there n cry. gonna learn n practise more on my own.. so next time. i will be better. Hopefully i can hav another try at it. It all abt praising God n not myself. I will try my best to do it. All things are possible with God ard!!

God marvelous love (testimony) Praise Him!!

Psa 23:1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
Psa 23:2 He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.
Psa 23:3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Psa 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Psa 23:5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Psa 23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
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Even when the fact i was send to the hospital for severe allergy reaction. But thru this, God has fullfilled couple of His many promises to us, Amen!! A sheep is one of the stupid animal in the world.

Psa 23:1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
But a sheep hears its Sherpherd. Fact i had the reaction, normally the first reaction is panic n at lost at wat to do. But during the reaction.. believe God prompted me to take the asthmatic spray n took a anti-histamine pill to control it. After which i sit down n pray..

Psa 23:2 He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.
Psa 23:3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
After the prayer for healing.. the reaction slowed down.. i jus lay down on the bed hoping tt the reaction will go off soon. Well.. it didnt. I was feeling peaceful still n decided to get help frm my frens. All the while as the reaction was gettin worst.. there was still peace within my soul. Becos God is with me.

Psa 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Psa 23:5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Psa 23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

By the time the ambulance came, my blood pressure was like sky high.. its critical.. as anything could have happened. Severe allergy reaction could lead to death as well =). Its like walking thru "valley of shadow of death". Plus the paramedic wasnt experience but everything jus went well n smooth still even with the long delay to the hospital. God used the pple ard me to comfort me, n He was holding me close to Him.. protecting me frm anything evil and bad. I was saved frm possible death. This is my second time, i had such severe allergy. This is my life verse. which has been impressed upon me by a really great sister of mine. Indeed, "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and i shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever"

Thk you.. n greatest gratitude to my wonderful Lord and Saviour, Almighty, Great I am. Praise God!

Strikes again....

The most unexpected thing happened.... in a nite visit the hospital twice.. Firstly becos of the swell at the back of my head.. its so painful. n causing me headaches, n backaches.. its was late. I went to the hospital to see a doc to find out wat had happened. Mater Hospital.. a long walk there. Was joking with my fren so late liaoz.. have to walk to the hospital haha.. there isnt any 24hr clinic.. over here. Went to the A&E department tt was the only place we can go. Entire process took abt 2 hrs plus by the time reach home is abt. 12 plus midnight.

So decided to take the medication after a long chat with another hse mate of mine. Happily i jus down the pills n took some bread. After a min.. i feel something was not rite. face was kinda swelling up n itching.. i thought its jus a rash cause by the cold.. didnt bother at all. Less than a min.. whole face was swollen, itching n lips.. also start to swell. this time i realise it was a allergic reaction.. so i took some anti-histamines to curb it.. thinking its will be over soon. i was so so wrong.. it got worst. to the point i was wheezing n cant breathe. in the end had to use the asthmatic spray to clear my air passage. jus feeling terrible. i decided to wait for a while more to see if condition subsides.. but it didnt.. whole body was starting to shake.. n swelling. tt its, i am definitely havin a severe allergic reaction again. Suddnely reminded of wat happened in sg, as quick as i could staggered to my fren's room n knock on his door.

He came out got a shock.. staring at my swollen face. i couldnt speak at all as the throat was swollen.. still manage to mouth some words for him to catch.. but still he cant get it.. so he went to get other hse mate to check on me.. The guy upon seeing me.. ask my fren go call the ambulance.. couple of other hse mate came out.. n keeping an eye on me.. all of them in shock.. finally the ambulance came.. n they couldnt start moving off as the blood pressure was rising too high.. due to the reaction.. the best thing was.. the lady paramedic was new.. she wasnt sure of wat to do.. n thk God she was calm thru out.. seeking help frm the hospital n her colleage who was more exp. really thk God tt. He provided me with calmness n peace.. for He is with me thru the ordeal. i jus prayed.. within my heart. thk God everything went fine. n now i am out.. thought the face is still bloated.. but i am thkful tt God saved my life again. Thk God for my hse mates after my discharge i actually walk home.. all by myself.. though the entire journey i was like still drowsy becos of the drug. They keep checking on me.. n cook lunch n dinner for me as well. until i am able to see n speak clearly practically sleep thru the day n today i am much better.. thk God for His protection n grace.