Jus couldnt push it down further n buried it inside my heart n never to be seen, recall again. Surfaced out..y not jus throw it out instead.. will i feel better, maybe.. watever.
Sat.... super tired.. barely awake.. totally zonk out. Always the same thing... unwanted stares frm pple.. condition flare up.. cause not enouf sleep plus plus plus.. Jus becos i dun look as "normal", it seems like a live exhibtion... curious stares cant be avoided..
Bugis.. finally it came.. making my way to art fren. Already feelin so sick n tired but it still hav to come rite at tt time. Escalator there.. two guys, tall n short.. Taller one simply jus stand at the entry of the escalator.. staring at me... frm corner of my eye., the expression on his face was like seeing something out of tis earth kind.. simply ignore n carried on.. He said the words to his fren.."wah, guan gong" loudly.. even thru e blastin of music.. could hear it so clearly.. n he was staring at me all the way. At the point of time, simply wish i could disappear rite away. How long does it take for to jus turn ard n stare at him n ask him a question.?? How long does it take for a punch to be throw out? Less then a minute.. less then a minute. Thank God i didnt react, jus remain silence movin on.
Numbing begins almost at the instance.. seems so natural process for me. Feelings push rite down n buried away inside m heart. Then i was okay again... move on. As usual things arent as nice as it always seems to be. On my way home.. the bottle broke.. it came out. Numbing doesnt works.. Jus becos of the difference.. jus that. Cant they jus be more considerate abt pple's feelings... puttin themselves into the shoes of others. Rite at the moment.. simply feel like cryin n the pain was intense... fighting back the tears.
Simply jus pray to God... wanted to find someone to talk to.. but no one.. soemthings cant be said out.. as it seems. Writing would be a better option at times... Part n parcel of my life.. as it will be.
