Its really tough maintaining a life focus on God.. have tried and still failed.. but still tryin yeah. God has continue to shower me with blessing and protection all this while. Jus recently have been blessed with a job interview been praying abt it as well. Praise God i have gone on to the final round of job interview. The fact tt it is my first attempt.. really praise God for it.
Again been studying late, thus didnt really sleep then i still manage to pass my online test praise God for tt. God has really been faithful to me. So mus continue to be faithful Him also.. amen! Jus today, finally experience something which i thought will happen in movie only. Was cycling.. kinda fast as well. Suddenly, the car infront of me opened the door. It happened so fast tt i cant even swerve off in time, bang. i knock into the door, somehow a miracle happened at least to me. i didnt do the 360 flip neither did i fall onto the road. The bike swerve upon impact. I kinda like glide across the handle bars and end up standing on the road.. with my bike behind me. I was also kinda shock.. really thk God i didnt land onto the road.. think there was a oncoming car.
All i suffered was a bruised and sprained pinkie (probably cant play guitar for a period of time) and kinda whack my lower part of my leg against the bike and twisted it. (not virtually twisting it). well at least i can still walk but with a limp.. and cant really twist my ankle. Well. i really thk God i didnt do a 360 flip or crash directly in to the door in which both will end up with serious consequences. Thank my Dear Father in heaven praise you. Amen.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Weeding has proceeded
Sometimes.. human really have to learn the hard way. No matter whether we know theres a better way. still we stubbornly chose the hard way. Yes.. a prayer to God.. to clean up my life. Really set my heart upon doing it. Its indeed amazing and wonderful how God works.
Started a off with a thirty day fast (one or two meals per day), doing my Q.T, continuing praying as and when prompted. Really trusting my life in God's hands and seeking Him first. I am really blessed by God indeed.
FIrst thing is i am looking for a job. Send out couple of resume. Need to find a job to clear atachment requirements. Yeah. Kinda like given up hope of getting a reply. But nonetheless, still prayed. THe next thing i realise is i got a call frm the company asking me to go for a interview.. whoa i was like it really happening. Went for the interview, it didnt really go well as it seems. I really pray and pray before the interview, leavin it to God. God really soften the heart of the interviewer, though it didnt went well. but somehow the interviewer mentioned tt he didnt have any reason not to give me a chance for the final round of interview. I was kinda sceptical abt it. Well, somehow i felt peaceful and happy even after a kinda bad interview. On the way to sch tts where i saw a picture which i mention in my one of the blogs. It really reassured me. Wait for news on friday. The next thing in mind was project. It wouldnt work and it was giving us so much problems.. ahhh.
Spend so much time for it. Till we kinda give up, presentation was on the next day. I have also been praying really hard for the project. I make up my mind to leave out time to go for care grp instead of staying behind to do project. But still kinda burdened. yeah on the day of presentation.. everyone was like sweating.. man.. this gonna be tough..how to smoke the supervisor. It isnt really working at all.. ahh suppose to be able to communicate two way. but one die.. so its only one way. Decided to commit it to God and worst still the slides was done the day before. n we didnt rehearsed or anything. Alot of things was so last min. Finally we went thru the oral presentation. it was still quite okay.. abit of fumbling abt. The demonstration came. Oh my.. all of us were like please please please. Everything went well.. until our supervisor want us to send a big file... we were like oh no.. tt it the end. gone. Thank God, the supervisor ask to send a ascii text file instead which we tried and it work.. whoa!! The next thing is really the smoke bomb part. Another student frm another project team shoot a question checking with us if it is two way communication.. Then we started throwing smoke bombs.. tryin to smoke n screen all of them with answers and at the same time change the topic to another one.
Well, it worked haha. I like to imagine this way. My team members n i throw smoke bombs, and Jesus is there fanning the smoke and it spread real quickly.. heez. Thk God. The supervisor didnt check the other board and he was really please with what we done. Given only half the time to do a project and "achieve" wat he wanted. Yippee praise God.
Next and last thing... whoa this is the best. On friday, i was like waiting for the call. I was also fighting a spiritual battle... as well. I was abt to give up the battle, then i remember tt God is the general of the battle, i am not fighting the battle alone but God is fighting for and with me. I pray n pray and it was over. Then i was kinda like sad cos the phone didnt ring. i was jus abt to give up on the thought the phone will, so i said a prayer to God. If its Yer will tt i can get thru' to the final round of interview, let it be. If i didnt, i will still thk You for it was a really good experience for me. I startd preparing to go to sch.. the next thing, my phone ring.. i was like in a shock.. could it be could it be. so i answered the phone. It was the company agent tt called, she mentioned i have made it to the final round of interview.. whoaa!!! Praise God. After ending the call. i couldnt help but cried.. its was tears of joy and gratitude towards my loving Father. Indeed i am so blessed by Him. I really thk God for a lesson i attended lead by Charis. It kinda woke me up.. n make me determine to change. I remember a verse she mentioned.
Mat 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
THis is one of the many promise tt God has given us. Thank You Lord!!
Started a off with a thirty day fast (one or two meals per day), doing my Q.T, continuing praying as and when prompted. Really trusting my life in God's hands and seeking Him first. I am really blessed by God indeed.
FIrst thing is i am looking for a job. Send out couple of resume. Need to find a job to clear atachment requirements. Yeah. Kinda like given up hope of getting a reply. But nonetheless, still prayed. THe next thing i realise is i got a call frm the company asking me to go for a interview.. whoa i was like it really happening. Went for the interview, it didnt really go well as it seems. I really pray and pray before the interview, leavin it to God. God really soften the heart of the interviewer, though it didnt went well. but somehow the interviewer mentioned tt he didnt have any reason not to give me a chance for the final round of interview. I was kinda sceptical abt it. Well, somehow i felt peaceful and happy even after a kinda bad interview. On the way to sch tts where i saw a picture which i mention in my one of the blogs. It really reassured me. Wait for news on friday. The next thing in mind was project. It wouldnt work and it was giving us so much problems.. ahhh.
Spend so much time for it. Till we kinda give up, presentation was on the next day. I have also been praying really hard for the project. I make up my mind to leave out time to go for care grp instead of staying behind to do project. But still kinda burdened. yeah on the day of presentation.. everyone was like sweating.. man.. this gonna be tough..how to smoke the supervisor. It isnt really working at all.. ahh suppose to be able to communicate two way. but one die.. so its only one way. Decided to commit it to God and worst still the slides was done the day before. n we didnt rehearsed or anything. Alot of things was so last min. Finally we went thru the oral presentation. it was still quite okay.. abit of fumbling abt. The demonstration came. Oh my.. all of us were like please please please. Everything went well.. until our supervisor want us to send a big file... we were like oh no.. tt it the end. gone. Thank God, the supervisor ask to send a ascii text file instead which we tried and it work.. whoa!! The next thing is really the smoke bomb part. Another student frm another project team shoot a question checking with us if it is two way communication.. Then we started throwing smoke bombs.. tryin to smoke n screen all of them with answers and at the same time change the topic to another one.
Well, it worked haha. I like to imagine this way. My team members n i throw smoke bombs, and Jesus is there fanning the smoke and it spread real quickly.. heez. Thk God. The supervisor didnt check the other board and he was really please with what we done. Given only half the time to do a project and "achieve" wat he wanted. Yippee praise God.
Next and last thing... whoa this is the best. On friday, i was like waiting for the call. I was also fighting a spiritual battle... as well. I was abt to give up the battle, then i remember tt God is the general of the battle, i am not fighting the battle alone but God is fighting for and with me. I pray n pray and it was over. Then i was kinda like sad cos the phone didnt ring. i was jus abt to give up on the thought the phone will, so i said a prayer to God. If its Yer will tt i can get thru' to the final round of interview, let it be. If i didnt, i will still thk You for it was a really good experience for me. I startd preparing to go to sch.. the next thing, my phone ring.. i was like in a shock.. could it be could it be. so i answered the phone. It was the company agent tt called, she mentioned i have made it to the final round of interview.. whoaa!!! Praise God. After ending the call. i couldnt help but cried.. its was tears of joy and gratitude towards my loving Father. Indeed i am so blessed by Him. I really thk God for a lesson i attended lead by Charis. It kinda woke me up.. n make me determine to change. I remember a verse she mentioned.
Mat 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
THis is one of the many promise tt God has given us. Thank You Lord!!
Saturday, October 15, 2005
The tree, the leaf and the wind...
Got to read to story again as i was doing hse keeping on my mail box. It reminded me of some stuff, relationships and interpersonal stuff.
"Leaf departure is because of Wind's pursuit or is it because Tree didnt ask her to stay."
Yupz.. it really makes me think.. abt relationship.. i would say. About having feelings for somebody but didnt let the person know abt it. Also taking pple ard for granted. In the process of it, hurting them. The story dun exactly speaks of wat really happened but to a certain extent it really makes me reflect upon my approach towards frens ard me.
The thing is patience... like Mellayana has said, patience in waiting for the Lord's timing. Big sis also mentioned to me, maybe its time i should pray abt it and wait for the Lord's answer. I never really think praying abt it so far. Still i have feelings for her. Well, jus kinda lost at wat to do, still treating her as my sister which is the best thing so far. yeah in case i get myself into more trouble then ever. I wish i had the chance to meet up with her before i flied off but it didnt happened becos of a major incident. Well, I need to be patient. Maybe its really time for me to start praying abt the issue?? hmmm..
"Leaf departure is because of Wind's pursuit or is it because Tree didnt ask her to stay."
Yupz.. it really makes me think.. abt relationship.. i would say. About having feelings for somebody but didnt let the person know abt it. Also taking pple ard for granted. In the process of it, hurting them. The story dun exactly speaks of wat really happened but to a certain extent it really makes me reflect upon my approach towards frens ard me.
The thing is patience... like Mellayana has said, patience in waiting for the Lord's timing. Big sis also mentioned to me, maybe its time i should pray abt it and wait for the Lord's answer. I never really think praying abt it so far. Still i have feelings for her. Well, jus kinda lost at wat to do, still treating her as my sister which is the best thing so far. yeah in case i get myself into more trouble then ever. I wish i had the chance to meet up with her before i flied off but it didnt happened becos of a major incident. Well, I need to be patient. Maybe its really time for me to start praying abt the issue?? hmmm..
Prayer meeting on tues...
Its was a bad day for me i suppose.. havin to eat stained food and end up sick. Well.. becos i wasnt feeling too well, i manage to get permission to leave earlier then usual. Thought of going home but didnt instead i went for the prayer meeting instead.
Yeah.. went there with a heavy heart.. personally know wats wrong.. my spiritual life is currently parched.. somehow the river is clogged with dirt and stuff. Its so hardened. During the response to the prayer.. i suddenly felt a noose went ard my neck, it really suffocated me so badly.. i was struggling to break free of the noose. I was like being strangled.. i really wanted to scream.. and run out of the hall. i try to open my eyes but jus couldnt, the noose was getting tighter every second. i really feel like dying. Started praying to God for release.. but the feeling got worst.. i felt like fainting and falling to the grd. Couldnt breath.. couldnt move ard.. terrible feeling. i jus felt my head being detached off my body. i couldnt feel anything at all.
I jus simply feel so terrible... but simply continue praying and singing the worship song... it was a tiring spiritual battle.. at the moment i really wanted to give up and run away.. but something keep me praying on, trusting in the Lord. For He is the General in the battle field. It wasn't me fighting this war but the Lord of the hosts. Continued praying.. n praying. at last i could feel my body and the noose ard my neck was broken off. It was at the time i felt peacefulness in my heart, joy. It made me realise i am still weak and in need of the Lord in my life. Its time to weed out the garden and prune it, make it flourish again.
Yeah.. went there with a heavy heart.. personally know wats wrong.. my spiritual life is currently parched.. somehow the river is clogged with dirt and stuff. Its so hardened. During the response to the prayer.. i suddenly felt a noose went ard my neck, it really suffocated me so badly.. i was struggling to break free of the noose. I was like being strangled.. i really wanted to scream.. and run out of the hall. i try to open my eyes but jus couldnt, the noose was getting tighter every second. i really feel like dying. Started praying to God for release.. but the feeling got worst.. i felt like fainting and falling to the grd. Couldnt breath.. couldnt move ard.. terrible feeling. i jus felt my head being detached off my body. i couldnt feel anything at all.
I jus simply feel so terrible... but simply continue praying and singing the worship song... it was a tiring spiritual battle.. at the moment i really wanted to give up and run away.. but something keep me praying on, trusting in the Lord. For He is the General in the battle field. It wasn't me fighting this war but the Lord of the hosts. Continued praying.. n praying. at last i could feel my body and the noose ard my neck was broken off. It was at the time i felt peacefulness in my heart, joy. It made me realise i am still weak and in need of the Lord in my life. Its time to weed out the garden and prune it, make it flourish again.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Socrhing.. woo... ahh...
Yeah.. sat was the Renewalk.. finally its over.. a ten 10km walk... under the sun. I really wonder isit really spring?! It was a scorching 36-37 degrees.. i think. thk God it didnt hit the max.. haha.. good thing i was cycling.. instead of walking.. CYling.. shouldnt i be walking muahah.. being front scout.. for walkers.. haha. i thought it will be easier n fun.. to do tt. yeah.. realise its more tiring then walking.. Misleaded three times... twice by marshalls n once becos there is not direction signs.. ahh.. had to cycle back n fro to check roads for signs. Well.. cant really blames the scouts for misleading pple.. only got to know abt the post on tt day itself.. n with no map given.. haiz.. a lot of walkers are really angry with us.. haiz. had a hard time explaining.. watever. It over.. i now like super chao ta.. sunburnt.. wahh.. guess this should be my darkest tan ever.. haiz.. it will not last for long.. cause its startin to peel sadz.. well.. now is spring n summer so still lotsa of chance to tan stil haha.. still feeling tired..
Good thing is there was cast party in the nite time.. for the anniversary dancers.. wow.. its was great.. haha. ate quite alot of food. n maybe half a tub of ice-cream..(not the big tub) its like i am havin revenge on the ice-cream..well. it jus makes me feel good after a scorchin day n nite time.. havin ice-cream to cool down yippeee!! Looking forward to the christmas dance.. tranining starting soon.. yeah yeah!!
Good thing is there was cast party in the nite time.. for the anniversary dancers.. wow.. its was great.. haha. ate quite alot of food. n maybe half a tub of ice-cream..(not the big tub) its like i am havin revenge on the ice-cream..well. it jus makes me feel good after a scorchin day n nite time.. havin ice-cream to cool down yippeee!! Looking forward to the christmas dance.. tranining starting soon.. yeah yeah!!
Monday, October 03, 2005
Anger and frustrations
Sometimes it really really irritating, sickening. Jus felt like smashin up the computers in qut.. thks to them i have to redo my program again n again. till i am so sick of it. Cant it be more stable aye.... friday my blood really boiled. and i was really disturb the computer for a long time.. now thinkin of it still make me feel down. so much time wasted.. To laugh or to cry
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
well...
THis week is suppose to a break but end up.. hav to go to sch everyday to do assignment.. ahhh. project n assignment n preparation for EXAMS!!! Wow.. seems so packed n hectic. it is ahhhhh.. Well the most comforting thing is i still can turn to God for help. He is the only one tt can help me through n turn the situation ard.. hey time for a change.. aye.. yeah.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
........
Its been so long... ever realise its all in a circle.. spinning round and round.. till a person simply like huh.. i have been walking ard in circle hmm.. After the talk with Big Bun, the JiJi realise something... circles.. tt all it abt. Its still jus her... all along. But somehow the feelings are jus simply locked.. n the key is either throw away or stack somewhere. Its jus walking ard in circles.. in the end it leads back to her again.
Something the JiJi asked himself.. if ever theres a time.. he will see her again on the streets or anywhere.. she is holding someone elses hand. Would he shed tears again.. would it be tears of joy for her or tears of sadness becos he has never told her abt how he feel towards her.
Still remember the time, JiJi saw her holding the hands of a guy, smiling happily. The whole world seem to collasped upon him... n he simply jus teared. That was the tears of sadness. Now coming to the same point again.. Wat would he do if he ever seen her again in the same kind of situation? This is wat he told himself... he should be happy for the her. Thk God tt she has found a better person. Prayin for them tt it will last till marriage till old age. Shedding tears of joy for her instead of tears of sadness.
Feelings are there.. probably will be since she's the first love of JiJi. The fact is she will never see this blog, probably nvr know how he still feel towards her. How he wish he could jus tell her how much he miss her, jus to see her smile... =)
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Evax on Friday..
jus want to blog this out.. suddenly got thought passin in my mind.. cant catch hold of it.. so blog this first.. yeah
Its was indeed a dark n gloomy nite.. really windy n chilly.. we gather in the chapel as usual before going out evangelism.. i was like kinda wonderin evax at nite.. will there even be anyone to approach? tt nite there was a multi-cultural festival goin on as well in sch. so i mus admit i am quite skeptical yupz. Nonetheless it went ahead. Charis ask us to spend couple of minutes.. prayin to God for anything words or impression or vision. At first.. i find it hard to focus on God n listen to Him.. still bother by the bird attack in the morning. 2nd time in a wk.. Jus pray n try my best to focus.. slowly manage to get the focus back.. prayin to God whether is there anything tt He wants me to know n share out to others..
Slowly there was this darkness engulfing ard me.. was wondering wat this.. started to become even darker. i was wonderin.. something wrong? suddenly the picture change to mountains in the darkness, cold n chilly.. after awhile it changed again to a ship in the sea surrounded by darkness.. its seems to be more confusing.. then the picture changed again.. i saw a dark tunnel.. so dark.. then a light appeared.. n tts the end of the whole picture i saw while praying to God. I was like piecing all of them together tryin to figure out wats it all abt.
Suddenly everything became clear.. this was wat it was..
Darkness: Alot of pple who still in the darkness have not see the light (God)
Tunnel and light: Everyone fears when they are alone in the darkness, where there is light in the darkness it gives hope n sight for the person.. wanderin n lost.
Ship in the sea: Pple are still lost n blinded waiting to hear the Good News..
Mountains: Shepherd will travel even in the darkness to find His sheep and not give up, over the mountains, rivers, like the song "His Sheep am I"
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Sums up.. we were given the command to reach out to pple, sharing the good news of God. Be the light in the darkness, bringing in lost pple. I believe this is it. All i need to confirm certain stuff. yupz.. One of the things i been praying for as well.. compassion... Time to move out..
Its was indeed a dark n gloomy nite.. really windy n chilly.. we gather in the chapel as usual before going out evangelism.. i was like kinda wonderin evax at nite.. will there even be anyone to approach? tt nite there was a multi-cultural festival goin on as well in sch. so i mus admit i am quite skeptical yupz. Nonetheless it went ahead. Charis ask us to spend couple of minutes.. prayin to God for anything words or impression or vision. At first.. i find it hard to focus on God n listen to Him.. still bother by the bird attack in the morning. 2nd time in a wk.. Jus pray n try my best to focus.. slowly manage to get the focus back.. prayin to God whether is there anything tt He wants me to know n share out to others..
Slowly there was this darkness engulfing ard me.. was wondering wat this.. started to become even darker. i was wonderin.. something wrong? suddenly the picture change to mountains in the darkness, cold n chilly.. after awhile it changed again to a ship in the sea surrounded by darkness.. its seems to be more confusing.. then the picture changed again.. i saw a dark tunnel.. so dark.. then a light appeared.. n tts the end of the whole picture i saw while praying to God. I was like piecing all of them together tryin to figure out wats it all abt.
Suddenly everything became clear.. this was wat it was..
Darkness: Alot of pple who still in the darkness have not see the light (God)
Tunnel and light: Everyone fears when they are alone in the darkness, where there is light in the darkness it gives hope n sight for the person.. wanderin n lost.
Ship in the sea: Pple are still lost n blinded waiting to hear the Good News..
Mountains: Shepherd will travel even in the darkness to find His sheep and not give up, over the mountains, rivers, like the song "His Sheep am I"
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Sums up.. we were given the command to reach out to pple, sharing the good news of God. Be the light in the darkness, bringing in lost pple. I believe this is it. All i need to confirm certain stuff. yupz.. One of the things i been praying for as well.. compassion... Time to move out..
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Dancing for the Lord of the dance
Finally, i have overcome the fear of dancing infront of alot of pple. NOt said i am no longer afraid but instead i will be more willing to take part. By God grace, the dance went smoothly.. during the last rehearse..abt half n hr ago.. i forget my moves.. n kinda like stun on the stage.. everything seems to stop. n pple at the bottom was like staring at me.. wow. i was like sweating.. n stress out. Indeed He is the Lord of the dance. Christmas is coming hear tt there is a dance too yeah i am going for it.. really pray hard tt i can make it. In Him all things are possible!
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
The Shepherd
Worries crease the forehead with wrinkles
Looking forth the horizon, darkness falls
Every step He took, calling out constantly
Over the steep sharp rocks, slipping and falling
Constantly He look around, eyes focusing in the dark
Sweats flow down His brow and sides, in weariness He continues
Calling out constantly, pushing on even when He's tired
Never resting, never slacking, fervently He searched
Cowering in the corner, a little sheep shivers
Braying away, fear gripped it
Many times it has wondered away
Into the dark unknown, where danger lies
A name was hear, the little sheep hears a tapping sound
Slowly it peeks out of the corner, again it hears its name
Braying even louder, slowly moving out of the corner
Soon a dark figure appeared infront of it
Frightened it was at the sight of the figure.
Stumbling it tried run away and hide
Strong, tender hands reach out to hold it
A gentle voice calls out it's name.
Happiness and joy filled the little sheep
Tears falling from the sherpherd's eyes.
Gently saying, "I am here, do not be afraid"
Cuddling the little sheep, heading back home
Where the pastures are always green
Where waters are always clear and refreshing
Back in the safe arms of the Sherpherd
That little sheep am I.
Looking forth the horizon, darkness falls
Every step He took, calling out constantly
Over the steep sharp rocks, slipping and falling
Constantly He look around, eyes focusing in the dark
Sweats flow down His brow and sides, in weariness He continues
Calling out constantly, pushing on even when He's tired
Never resting, never slacking, fervently He searched
Cowering in the corner, a little sheep shivers
Braying away, fear gripped it
Many times it has wondered away
Into the dark unknown, where danger lies
A name was hear, the little sheep hears a tapping sound
Slowly it peeks out of the corner, again it hears its name
Braying even louder, slowly moving out of the corner
Soon a dark figure appeared infront of it
Frightened it was at the sight of the figure.
Stumbling it tried run away and hide
Strong, tender hands reach out to hold it
A gentle voice calls out it's name.
Happiness and joy filled the little sheep
Tears falling from the sherpherd's eyes.
Gently saying, "I am here, do not be afraid"
Cuddling the little sheep, heading back home
Where the pastures are always green
Where waters are always clear and refreshing
Back in the safe arms of the Sherpherd
That little sheep am I.
Monday, September 05, 2005
Waiting still....when will appear.. haiz..
Waiting for the blue black to appear.. on my left foot n right knee.. Got stepped on my foot by someone wearing shoe.. it still hurt but after rubbin it.. the blue black still dun come out.. knee is doing something stupid.. n end up crashing into a bench n table.. Sometimes.. its kinda fun.. doing stupid things.. but mus be more careful..
SHouldnt hav done it.. too late for regrets... haiz.
SHouldnt hav done it.. too late for regrets... haiz.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Jus cant stop loving u...
haha.. so whoever readin this. might probably think.. who the gal?? =P nah nah nah.. its Jesus i am refering to. He holds me close in His arms, never let me go.. The extent of His love touches my heart.. thought i still fail Him fall.. Darkness seems overwhelming.. He still rescues me!! always..
Becos of HIs love.. i simply jus cant stop loving Him.. simply jus cant stop falling in love with Him..
Becos of HIs love.. i simply jus cant stop loving Him.. simply jus cant stop falling in love with Him..
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Surrounding me..
Hmm.. jus kinda startin to worry abt pple ard me.. alot of things seems to be happening to them.. Jus dunno how to approach to ask.. n dunno wat to say... I hope i am not neglecting my bro n sis ard me.. been busy with sch stuff n etc.. hmm best way is to pray for them.. i suppose.
Take care my dear bro & sisters!
Take care my dear bro & sisters!
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Dance..
Well well well.. i am learning to dance haha. It sound abit strange aye. Hmmm still remember my bad experience with dancing.. It was during pri. sch. did something wrong.. n end up leaving my partner standin in the middle of a basketball court. The girl was super angry n my teacher was also super angry. Well.. things can still go wrong aye.
BUt nonetheless.. i decided to overcome this fear.. n join the dancing.. practise for church anniversary.. thought i keep forgettin lotsa of move.. i will still continue to practise n learn it. It for God i am doin it.. yeah. Its really fun.. today was quite funny.. end up my foot got step on quite hard by someone.. hmm.. the bruise would probably appear in couple of days.. should be okay heez. Dancing is fun!!!
BUt nonetheless.. i decided to overcome this fear.. n join the dancing.. practise for church anniversary.. thought i keep forgettin lotsa of move.. i will still continue to practise n learn it. It for God i am doin it.. yeah. Its really fun.. today was quite funny.. end up my foot got step on quite hard by someone.. hmm.. the bruise would probably appear in couple of days.. should be okay heez. Dancing is fun!!!
Friday, August 26, 2005
Perfect Day n Running after YOU!!
PErfect day.. would be the day Christ enter my life.. indeed it is.. tt where all the transformation slowly take place.. till who i am now. I still be transform. No matter how painful, tough, i still mus press on n run after God.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Being 24...
24 yrs have past in a glance.. seems like its jus happened in one day.. hmm.. wat installed for me. haha. Wish i could go for the unidus n prayer mtg. but cant have to stay in sch work late for the project which started so late... thk God for answering my pray n now we hav a supervisor.
My 24th bday n is gonna be in sch.. wow.. how interesting this can get.. simply means ... i am older should be more wiser, responsible then before. Shouild be time for me to sleep.. i suppose. both my eyes are like totally blur n cant see clearly.. hmm..
My 24th bday n is gonna be in sch.. wow.. how interesting this can get.. simply means ... i am older should be more wiser, responsible then before. Shouild be time for me to sleep.. i suppose. both my eyes are like totally blur n cant see clearly.. hmm..
Friday, August 19, 2005
Masque Soiree
Today was the day ... it should be yesterday. haha. first time have to wear suit, tie, long sleeves, pants n leather shoes plus a mask for the event. ultimate formal. liaoz.. feel so weird.. way too formal.. had a good time. At least can try once.. haha
Had quite a enjoyable time.. there are two best part to the play.. haha. one was when Rhys show his glory haha.. my jaws drop.. oh my.. it actually happened.. infront of so many pple.. i jus cant stop laughing.. The next best part was Isaac.. he dress like a girl.. i was like.. so stunned.. haha. He the best.. It was a great nite.. overall. =)
Had quite a enjoyable time.. there are two best part to the play.. haha. one was when Rhys show his glory haha.. my jaws drop.. oh my.. it actually happened.. infront of so many pple.. i jus cant stop laughing.. The next best part was Isaac.. he dress like a girl.. i was like.. so stunned.. haha. He the best.. It was a great nite.. overall. =)
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Glances into the time...
Its been half a yr since i left singapore on my own. Recently having lotsa of flashback.. ever since the hospital stay. Alot of things are zooming thru my mind. Its time to take a look back wat happened, analyse, learn n move to improve my life and walk with God.
The day tt. i got onto the plane. The sadness seems so overpowering n tears would jus appear anything. I really wonder why am i here in brisbane? Y brisbane? y not anywhere. Are there regrets or other stuff. God leaded me here for a reason. I was practically dyin off in sg spiritually. I am in the dire straits.. n almost giving up. Overpowered by all the stuff going thru my mind. I would have started to stop attending church and stuff, even so if i am attending, it would be a routine jus to follow.. simply no feelings, commitment. I jus wanted to give up on so much stuff. Life is really down n down n down.. i dun even see any light.
I have been running away frm so many things. Caught so by the past, refusing to let it go. Even how hard i tried.. i still refuse to let go of it myself. Days n nites of sadness, brokeness, fear, tears, pain, depression... Simply wish i could jus disappear into thin air. The chains seems so hard to break, the darkness was so overwhelming in my life. Was in need of a release n freedom frm the darkness which tied me down.. I was jus running away n avoiding everything to the extent i am so tired of it. Tired of numbing myself till it hurts so much. till it seems i am totally jus pain..
It was the same almost everyday.. n all the way even when i touch down into brisbane. Things slowly started to change.. In a new enivronment, things change n freshened up. God is slowly reviving my life everyday over here in brisbane. Its seems like i am running away frm things again. It was at the beginning. Coming to a point in time i slowly commit it to God. Casting my anxiety n burden unto Him.. He didnt even wait for a moment.. jus as i have been in sch for the 2nd or 3rd day.. i meet President Xi (hahaha) ... i was sitting there alone in sch on the bench.. I am kinda like a fallen away christian.. "lost sheep" venturing out into other places. God, my sherpherd hasnt given up on me all this while. I was like invited to attend a bbq which i missed haha. i got the time mixed up n also feel like running ard instead of joining them too. It might be a good choice haha. I was like kinda hesitant n wanted to explore abit more n find a suitable place. I jus wanted more options.
The strangest part is the more i run away frm CCM.. the more they came appearing before me. Let put it this way.. i went back to sch..to like check out some stuff. yeah.. i thought y not go check out if there is any club hse in sch then maybe can pop in n visit all th christian grps. Well sad to speak.. there isnt any club hse... end up waiting for the market day. It finally came.. i was walking out.. to Kidney lawn. Whoa there was so much pple ard. there the tentage was there infront of me. i walk ard.. havin a look. was like wanting to to walk inside but i hav crowd phobia.. so decided man.. jus go home... somehow instead of walking on the pavement.. i was drawn towards road.. n walking down. Somehow the christian grps was seem to be hidden away frm my sight. As i walk. the first christian grp appeared infront of me. Guess wat, its CCM. I was thinking should i jus walk over there n find out more. Even before i was like able to make up my mind i am already slowly walking towards the booth. hmmm. then again Mr President Xi appeared out of no where.. Ninja???? haha jus kidding. after couple of mins there.. the guy with the cap appeated n starting to talkin to me as well. He none other then Mr Vun Jie Lun kekeke.. think tt his chinese name.
Well the talking went on for a while.. he actually invited me to care grp, church. Was persuaded to join ccm. In my mind i was thinking i want to try other grps.. available but somehow i was getting tired of walking.. so i though i might come another day.. but i was left with little choice.. cos the market day is only one day in Garden's Point. So i thought might as well. I am in... I mus admit.. i was still strayin away frm God still.. tt friday was care grp day. i was like kinda forgotten abt it. i was with my hse mate.. in the city havin a drink. suddenly it pop into my mind.. i look at the timing.. its was like 6pm.. hmm. so i thought should i try to go down still... i called alvin.. n somehow God works in a way we can nvr imagine. i still manage to get there.. To me i was thinking its more like a social visit still i didnt want to join as yet. Well. i mus admit.. God somehow make CCM like a superglue.. i kinda like stuck there haha.. Now i am with Daniel Five, a great n marvelous grp.. energetic, fun loving, FRESH pple. =) Fact is i am stuck n not only tt.. i am stuck to God even closer then before. Starting to attending church.. but i didnt change much i mus admit.
The real change came...on tt faithful nitez. haha. it might sound abit funny... tt nite was kinda gloomy n rainy... cold n wet nite. Was attending the combine prayer mtg. Tt was the nite where my life was totally shaken up.. opened up. Alvin was giving a lesson on the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. I first heard abt it.. quite some time back. After i heard abt how Mel life changed after being baptised by the Holy Spirit. I was rather keen on it. I mean if it really make me yearn for God more, n outgoing for Him..i would give it a shot. I was dearly in need of a spiritual revival in my life. My life really changed tt nite. Its like being renewed n restored, my life slowly opened up.. i feel more joy in doing things, everything seems so much brighter then before.. Its like being flooded till overflowing with joy n fire for God. I am still changing still to be a better christian n Christ like. There still room for improvement.. and i will keep on pushing on n improving. one area of improvement is need of compassion for others. yeah.
There are lot of things to thk God for, thkful for pple who nvr give up on me. In sg, they been there for me.. even thought they might not know wat happening to me then.. i really thkful to God for puttin them in my life to support me n reminding me of Him in tt i didnt give up on God totally.
Thks to All Kaleo pple!
Special Thks
Men's grp: Pastor Andrew, Andy, Bun, Robert, Acts, Weijie, Hock, Lawrence, Daniel.
Brothers: Eddy, PC, Justin, John Wong, John Chew
Sisters in Christ: Su_lynn, Sze Sze, Sylvia, Mag, Alicia Boo, Alicia Lim, Lynn, Sharon, Angela, Grace
The day tt. i got onto the plane. The sadness seems so overpowering n tears would jus appear anything. I really wonder why am i here in brisbane? Y brisbane? y not anywhere. Are there regrets or other stuff. God leaded me here for a reason. I was practically dyin off in sg spiritually. I am in the dire straits.. n almost giving up. Overpowered by all the stuff going thru my mind. I would have started to stop attending church and stuff, even so if i am attending, it would be a routine jus to follow.. simply no feelings, commitment. I jus wanted to give up on so much stuff. Life is really down n down n down.. i dun even see any light.
I have been running away frm so many things. Caught so by the past, refusing to let it go. Even how hard i tried.. i still refuse to let go of it myself. Days n nites of sadness, brokeness, fear, tears, pain, depression... Simply wish i could jus disappear into thin air. The chains seems so hard to break, the darkness was so overwhelming in my life. Was in need of a release n freedom frm the darkness which tied me down.. I was jus running away n avoiding everything to the extent i am so tired of it. Tired of numbing myself till it hurts so much. till it seems i am totally jus pain..
It was the same almost everyday.. n all the way even when i touch down into brisbane. Things slowly started to change.. In a new enivronment, things change n freshened up. God is slowly reviving my life everyday over here in brisbane. Its seems like i am running away frm things again. It was at the beginning. Coming to a point in time i slowly commit it to God. Casting my anxiety n burden unto Him.. He didnt even wait for a moment.. jus as i have been in sch for the 2nd or 3rd day.. i meet President Xi (hahaha) ... i was sitting there alone in sch on the bench.. I am kinda like a fallen away christian.. "lost sheep" venturing out into other places. God, my sherpherd hasnt given up on me all this while. I was like invited to attend a bbq which i missed haha. i got the time mixed up n also feel like running ard instead of joining them too. It might be a good choice haha. I was like kinda hesitant n wanted to explore abit more n find a suitable place. I jus wanted more options.
The strangest part is the more i run away frm CCM.. the more they came appearing before me. Let put it this way.. i went back to sch..to like check out some stuff. yeah.. i thought y not go check out if there is any club hse in sch then maybe can pop in n visit all th christian grps. Well sad to speak.. there isnt any club hse... end up waiting for the market day. It finally came.. i was walking out.. to Kidney lawn. Whoa there was so much pple ard. there the tentage was there infront of me. i walk ard.. havin a look. was like wanting to to walk inside but i hav crowd phobia.. so decided man.. jus go home... somehow instead of walking on the pavement.. i was drawn towards road.. n walking down. Somehow the christian grps was seem to be hidden away frm my sight. As i walk. the first christian grp appeared infront of me. Guess wat, its CCM. I was thinking should i jus walk over there n find out more. Even before i was like able to make up my mind i am already slowly walking towards the booth. hmmm. then again Mr President Xi appeared out of no where.. Ninja???? haha jus kidding. after couple of mins there.. the guy with the cap appeated n starting to talkin to me as well. He none other then Mr Vun Jie Lun kekeke.. think tt his chinese name.
Well the talking went on for a while.. he actually invited me to care grp, church. Was persuaded to join ccm. In my mind i was thinking i want to try other grps.. available but somehow i was getting tired of walking.. so i though i might come another day.. but i was left with little choice.. cos the market day is only one day in Garden's Point. So i thought might as well. I am in... I mus admit.. i was still strayin away frm God still.. tt friday was care grp day. i was like kinda forgotten abt it. i was with my hse mate.. in the city havin a drink. suddenly it pop into my mind.. i look at the timing.. its was like 6pm.. hmm. so i thought should i try to go down still... i called alvin.. n somehow God works in a way we can nvr imagine. i still manage to get there.. To me i was thinking its more like a social visit still i didnt want to join as yet. Well. i mus admit.. God somehow make CCM like a superglue.. i kinda like stuck there haha.. Now i am with Daniel Five, a great n marvelous grp.. energetic, fun loving, FRESH pple. =) Fact is i am stuck n not only tt.. i am stuck to God even closer then before. Starting to attending church.. but i didnt change much i mus admit.
The real change came...on tt faithful nitez. haha. it might sound abit funny... tt nite was kinda gloomy n rainy... cold n wet nite. Was attending the combine prayer mtg. Tt was the nite where my life was totally shaken up.. opened up. Alvin was giving a lesson on the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. I first heard abt it.. quite some time back. After i heard abt how Mel life changed after being baptised by the Holy Spirit. I was rather keen on it. I mean if it really make me yearn for God more, n outgoing for Him..i would give it a shot. I was dearly in need of a spiritual revival in my life. My life really changed tt nite. Its like being renewed n restored, my life slowly opened up.. i feel more joy in doing things, everything seems so much brighter then before.. Its like being flooded till overflowing with joy n fire for God. I am still changing still to be a better christian n Christ like. There still room for improvement.. and i will keep on pushing on n improving. one area of improvement is need of compassion for others. yeah.
There are lot of things to thk God for, thkful for pple who nvr give up on me. In sg, they been there for me.. even thought they might not know wat happening to me then.. i really thkful to God for puttin them in my life to support me n reminding me of Him in tt i didnt give up on God totally.
Thks to All Kaleo pple!
Special Thks
Men's grp: Pastor Andrew, Andy, Bun, Robert, Acts, Weijie, Hock, Lawrence, Daniel.
Brothers: Eddy, PC, Justin, John Wong, John Chew
Sisters in Christ: Su_lynn, Sze Sze, Sylvia, Mag, Alicia Boo, Alicia Lim, Lynn, Sharon, Angela, Grace
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