Fishing in Autumn.

Three guys out in the freezing water.. standing there to fish.. any better ideas.. haha.. its was a freezing fishing trip. was shivering n shaking so badly when we came out of the water onto the pavement.. the wind was blowing so strongly.. feet was so numb frm the cold.. n it turn so red... wat can be better to havin to change in the open behind the car with the wind still blowing.. wah.. shivers n goose bumps. Facing the same problem again.. the ach is coming back again.. seems like the coldness is causing very sourish kind of aches at the spine where the bone is bit off. now the knee cap seems to be acting up again.. should hav taken better of myself when i was younger. the ache is quiet sickening, though haiz.. time to sleep.. *Yawz***

Still awake again..

Somehow jus dun feel like sleeping.. want to study but cant really concentrate. Sometimes i jus wish the time would stop n reversed, so certain time can be revisited n change for the better. Its jus impossible.. so impossible. Jus dunno how to describe the feeling inside myself. Theres a thought which is in my mind recently, how should i go abt handling it. Haiz.. jus dun want to run away frm it..

Wat.. wat.. wat...

Wat is love? SO many kind of love.. the greatest love ever shown.. was the one when Christ die on the cross for our sins. The pure love of God for us.. the greatest sacrifice.

Ahhhhh..

Haiz.. cant believe it.. friday sprain my thumb while tryin to sit on the chair.. end up the chair spring back upwards.. trappin my thumb in a awkward position.. n i end up siting on the edge of the chair.. while my thumb was stuck in the awkward position. the end of the day realise i lost my pencil case.. sadz.. it has been with me since sec till now.. n its still in good condition. hope i can still find it tomolo..

Got some thoughts in my mind.. need to write it out.. flooding me up>>> haiz need time to sit down n pen them down first. i want to sleep.. sleep sleeep..

late night again..

hmm... finally got my light.. so i wont have to worry abt knockin into things at nite. when i switch off the lights.. on n off night blindness can be so troublesome.. n got some fruits n cereals.. havin stomach problems.. which means budget is broken again.. haiz.. but at least the things bought are for a valid reason n not for fun. yupz..

Took a walk in the open space in the hse compound.. its very very cold.. brrr.. got mistaken as a thief.. cant blame my hse mate.. cos i walkin ard in black .. n he got frightnened..time to sleep n rest.. feeling very tired.. exams less then a mth away got to push on further n faster.. yupz. but continue to trust in God for wisdom.. n guidance. lookng forward to the coming care grp n prayer mtg. yeah..

y am i still awake

Arent i tired..n sleepy. y am i still awake.. am i pushin myself too hard? dun want to end up falling sick.. but i am too slack?? headachez..

Presentation.. wear a pair of leather shoes then couldnt fit my feet.. simply hav to squeeze my feet in ouch.. haiz.. if only we can dress casually for the presentation.. think i was kinda nervous.. seem like i am shouting at the audience, also forgot my points as well. Good thing its over.. hmm seems like i hav to go source for a cheap pair of leather shoes n a tie, pants..

God ans my prayer... yippee. yesterday nite pray tt i can make it for the prayer mtg. wasnt really too confident tt i could make it. today seems like the presentation drained my leader so much tt he decided he needs a break.. to recharge. tada i am on my way to the prayer mtg. Also mus thank God i didnt really got lost on my way to there. journey safety plus rite choice of directions.. thk God for His guidance. Had a great time at the mtg. cried n my eyes was kinda swollen, its was a gentle reminder frm God of my current situation n status.. i should have trusted Him more.. n focus more on God first.. indeed.. ahh feeling hungry.. n sleepy.. haiz..

Sorry... for all tt i have done.. really sorry abt it.. its all too late.. all the hurt tt was done..sorry.

Jus Him

Breeze the gently brushes by
A ting of coldness rides down the body
Sitting by the river wallk, staring out
A beautiful sight of the city lies in view

Gently as the breeze blows by
Pondering upon the thoughts in mind
While stars shines brightly above in the heavens
A wonderous sight and marvelous view

As the breeze brushes by
All quiet and peaceful
Tears start to fall, a form of release
Gone are the worries & sadness with the breeze

A new start to begin with
To continue pressing on in life
Amid all the obstacles and pitfalls
Hope will always be there

Where does in come from
From the God who loves me
Who knows me
Who always will be with me

He knows...

He knows our burdens and our crosses,
Those things that hurt, our trials and losses;
He cares for every soul that cries—
God wipes the tears from weeping eyes. —Brandt

Tears are often the telescope by which we can see into heaven.

He the one who see everything, knows everything, indeed

possum, ducks n pyro!!

Possum.. saw one on the bridge connecting to a blk.. haha.. so cute. a small n chubby one.. jus feel like cuddling it.. playin with it. CUteezzz.. Quite surprise to see it in the building area.. instead of out in the open.. hmm. next time mus bring camera n capture it.. Quite funny.. also saw two cute little ducks.. strolling along jus outside the library haha.. it also so cutezz.. in a single file..moving arrd.. looking for food. they jus dont seem to be afraid of human..

Pyros.. its really great.. the fire works display.. seem like over here will be able to see lottsa of fire works display.. nice. been so long since i have seem fire works display so near n upfront.. its indeed beautiful n wonderful.. Starts to have feelings of missing home.. n pple in there.. jus wondering how all there are doing.. looking at the stars.. reminded me of her again.. the cute little girl haha.. know her since sec sch.. glad she doing well in sch n life n walk with God.. indeed she has grown n mature alot.. feel happy n glad for her. yeah.. along will come along another n another person.. haha.. seems nvr ending.. but its all abt the same. jus thk God tt friends we still are.. yupz

Well.. Well

Things seems to be getting it seems. Assignments slowly been clear.. got some time to study for exams still. Still something bothering me.. let time settle it. Someday it will be okay.. someday. Thank God i was able to change my assigment grp without much hassle n trouble. not an easy thing.. waiting for lunch time.. hmm. lost weight.. is it good for me.. jus couldnt help but wonder. watever..

haiz..

Already feeling kinda depressed already.. now its adding on to it. haiz. Thank God tt i manage to complete one of the assignment programming. Jus felt its so unfair. Being play out by one of the team mate. IN the end still i am the one doing it. sickening.. really feel like screaming at him n kick him out of the team n let him learn a tough lesson. Tomolo have to complete the assignment.. presentation on thursay. Dear Lord really need help.. feelin very tired.. n drain out.. teach me Lord to trust in Yer strength n provision.. for Yer ways are higher then mine n You have plans for me to prosper. Draw me closer to You.. teach me to be humble n forgiving as well. indeed Lord... change me.. Amen

Decent dinner..

well finally.... a decent dinner.. miss th carrot cake thinggy. so decided to work it out with macronic instead.. cooked it like the way the fried carrot cake it done.. well as a experiment its turn out to be quite edible.. still. manage to let out some frustrations n feelings.. look ard.. cant find it aye.. its not suppose to be seen haha. am i really feeling happy?

anyway being sick is not fun at all. miss care grp n church service today.. haiz. i should be ashamed of myself... jus last wk..i saw a lady in QUT. She born without both upper limbs.. she talks on the mobile by holding it with her feet. She living life as normal.. moving on.. i shouldnt really complain too much abt my sickness. while there are others much worse then me.. Should jus continue to live a life tt honours God.. instead. gotta press on.. There is a purpose n reason why i am with this sickness. Believe the day will come where there will be no sickness, pain, etc.. Gotta wrk harder now.. till the day come..

Total Make over!

yESH. the make over finally came.. n its completed.. definitely look more neater n nicer. Tts my room make over.. spend few hrs..clearing up the place.. trasnfering n shifting stuff.. table, bed n cupboard..while at least it is now more.. clean n spacious compare to the day i first came in. The present i got frm the make over seems to be a flu.. been squeezing non stop.. feeling drowsy as well. with the room more ventilated.. its better but somehow jus caught the flu out of sudden.

Yup.. finally sorted my budget for the two yrs here.. deducting all the rental, phone, sch feels some other stuff.. i am left with ard 2-5 dollars a day. abt 14-35 dollars for a wk of all expenses tt might be incurred, like travelling, snacks, groceries, necessities.. To be more realistic.. it should be abt 21 p/w. Settin aside some for emergency.. its not going to be easy but God is in control of everything.. yup. jus hope n prayin tt my family side is okay.. Time to rest myself.. yupz..

Awake..

Still awake.. by rite should be sleeping. Well.. one good thing to be happy abt.. since i came over here.. i have been able to sleep well.. guess i am too tired.. to keep awake. Slowly lettin things go its way.. following the flow. Stars are jus so beautiful to look at.. brings back many memories of both good n bad. I need to recharge.. been pushin my body far too hard in terms of physical.. loosing weight again.. now pants seems to be lot lose.

How am i feeling now. i cant really say or explain.. its jus tt. lotsa of words.. i should have say but didnt cone out at all. time to sleep away n stack the words away to some corner.. needless to specify wat will happened... hmm..

To You

Here I stand
Forever in Your mighty hand
Living with Your promise
Written on my heart

I am Yours
Surrendered wholly to You
You set me in Your family
Calling me Your own

Now I,
I belong to You
All I need
Your Spirit,
Your word
Your truth
Hear my cry
My deep desireTo know You more

In Your name
I will lift my hands
To the King
This anthem of praise I bring

Heaven knows
I long to love You
With all I am
I belong to You

---------------------------------------
Song by Darlene Zschech

Indeed a great n powerful song. Reminds me of God's love.... the sacrifice.. thank God

Watsup now..

Jus got a new deal for a new bike.. just wish i could sell my old bike away asap... Am i feeling happy or am i feeling sad.. dun really know exactly.. sometimes it jus a thin line of difference.. but happy n sad are two diff. things.. where am i standin exactly..

Things seems to be inclining towards tt direction.. tryin hard not to dwell too much on it.. maybe it doesnt mean matter at all.. doesnt make any diff. Simply. jus take it out.. put into a box.. n sealed.. buried into the depths.. where it will not be touched, seen or be heard maybe for eternity.

Tired and painful..

Had a exhaustive day.. some more yesterday, went for badminton.. before tt was cycling.. ard. Was suppose to be playin badminton.. but see a volleyball.. haha.. well starting playin with it alone. it been such along time since i actually touch n hit a volleyball.. feeling is so nice n good. after a while, some pple join in jus have some fun digging ard.. after a while continue playing badminton.. as usual i am thrashed.. some how i jus cant seem to be able to play badminton.. but still learning.. after changing over.. continue with playin with the volleyball.. by the end of the sport session.. both my legs r painful, cramming soon. find it hard to walk, sit down couldnt really stand up.. sound stupid.. the best thing i still have to cycle home.. its was the one of the most painful n cycling trip i had..

Suddenly realise it was my dad bday.. so have to qiong all the way.. which makes my legs more tired.. n jelly. Really thk God tt i was able to reach home safely n after tt immediately went out to the strts to call my dad.. COuld hear tt they are happy to hear my voice n talk to me.. i sure miss them alot.. alot.. well i got updates n things sure are gettin better at home.. thk God.. yupz..

Hanging still

hang in there still.. been quite sometime i cried.. i cried again.. News the really hurt n worries me. Looking at my parents.. how tired n aged they have become since i last saw them. It hurts alot.. feeling sad, no one i can turn to.. its jus God i can turn to now.. was hoping to be able to talk to someone.. but no one seems to be ard.. i dunno. Suddenly feel so alone over here. I miss my frens.. family over in sg.. esp those whom i treasured in my heart.

sometimes it jus seems so tough.. being on my own over here. Wish close frens are here as well. thought being attached sometimes do pop into my mind.. still tryin hard not to get involve.. now. certainly not ready yet. My fren has got himself a gf.. fact is tt he already has one in sg.. its like haiz.. world is going down... n down.. hang in there pls.. hav to turn to God for strength n wisdom.. indeed.

Song by Hoobastank

i'm not a perfect person.
There are many things i wish i didnt do but i continue learning.
I never meant to do those things to you and so i have to say before i go,
that i just want you to know
I've found a reason for me,
to change who i used to be a reason to start over new,
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that i hurt, its something
I must live with everyday and all the pain i put you through,
I wish that i could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears,
thats why i need you to hear i'm not a perfect person,
I never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go that

i just want you to know i've found a reason for me,
to change who i used to be a reason to start over new,
and the reason is you
i've found a reason to show a side of me
you didnt know a reason for all that i do,
and the reason is you

---------------------------------

nothing to much to say abt... its a nice song. Cant remember the title of the show.. as well. Wanted to watch it when its out in sg.. tv but somehow i didnt manage to catch it.. =}