Before i start on the main thing... i must say this: I HATE DIARRHEA!!! I REALLY HATE DIARRHEA.. it is jus so irritating. Even now a kettle weights a ton and my whole body feels like I have just finished a marathon.. urgghhh. Shoo diarrhea go away!!!
OKayz.. now back to topic. Its really a long long wait.. looking for jobs and waiting for replies.. everything seems to be so quiet. This transition to montreal isnt easy as i have expected. The amounth faith and trust in God required seeks like sky high and endless. But the bible says a you can move mountains with the faith of a mustard seed. As in not literally, yeah but continue to put my trust and faith in God for His provision. So far, God has been really good and i pass my two theory tests for driving license and now left with the practical test to go.. yeah yeah!!
God also has bless me in my lessons.. and i was able to learn things fast and the instructors have high expectations as well. Glory to God. But still i have to learn to cooperate with God more. Well, my last driving in the night time was a disaster even the instructor got a shock. One thing is i am not ready to drive in the night time yet. But i believe i can do it because God is with me. God has really blessed me with great strict yet friendly instructors.. praise God.. my phobia of evil instructors are dissolved.. heez.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Lesson learnt
Finally, back in the blogging realm again.. its a good rest indeed. haha. Normal events can sometimes be a smack n reminder in the face of things in life and who God is.
Yesterday, was learning driving, the best part moving off from the slope. Geez.. its pretty frightening when the instructor says, let go the brakes, i was like "Noooooo" in my heart.. so i keep stepping on the brakes and he say, "let go the brakes, let go.." Stubbornly, in my heart "Noooooo".. sound alright and correct not to let go off the brakes because its a slope. But the point is if i dont let go of the brakes, how can i even learn how to move off the slope when i am near the top of the slope.
Point 1) There is a instructor in the car
Point 2) The car has two brakes, one on my side and one on the instructor side
Point 3) The stubborn native of myself refusing to let go of the brakes
Point 4) Being overwhelm by the situation and end up focusing on myself
What does all these points add up to?? Simply to say, I felt like I was whack across my head to be awaken by God. "Hey! Wake up dude... where's yer focus?"
Lesson learnt was: Stubborn native of mine often cause me to focus on my situation and myself incapabilities and to the extend that I forget a major point. God is still in the picture, I am like looking through a peep-hole when there is a big view for me to look thru'.
In situation of the driving, it took me a while to realise that "Hey, if i let go of the brakes, my instructor will step on the brakes at the moment where he wants the car to stop and start to let me practice my moving off." Basically, both of us are in a safe situation.
In terms of application in my life with God is alot of times I am still holding on to the brakes when God has already said, "Let go". By being stubborn, i cant learn anything and i end up focusing on the problem. I miss the big picture and God who is in control. There is nothing wrong noticing the risk being there but more importantly I should have focus on God who is greater than the risk. If God has called and shown the way, the risk is nothing because He is in control.
Just worrying doesnt help a single bit in life but worry and pray and trust in God and taking appropiate actions will do alot.
Yesterday, was learning driving, the best part moving off from the slope. Geez.. its pretty frightening when the instructor says, let go the brakes, i was like "Noooooo" in my heart.. so i keep stepping on the brakes and he say, "let go the brakes, let go.." Stubbornly, in my heart "Noooooo".. sound alright and correct not to let go off the brakes because its a slope. But the point is if i dont let go of the brakes, how can i even learn how to move off the slope when i am near the top of the slope.
Point 1) There is a instructor in the car
Point 2) The car has two brakes, one on my side and one on the instructor side
Point 3) The stubborn native of myself refusing to let go of the brakes
Point 4) Being overwhelm by the situation and end up focusing on myself
What does all these points add up to?? Simply to say, I felt like I was whack across my head to be awaken by God. "Hey! Wake up dude... where's yer focus?"
Lesson learnt was: Stubborn native of mine often cause me to focus on my situation and myself incapabilities and to the extend that I forget a major point. God is still in the picture, I am like looking through a peep-hole when there is a big view for me to look thru'.
In situation of the driving, it took me a while to realise that "Hey, if i let go of the brakes, my instructor will step on the brakes at the moment where he wants the car to stop and start to let me practice my moving off." Basically, both of us are in a safe situation.
In terms of application in my life with God is alot of times I am still holding on to the brakes when God has already said, "Let go". By being stubborn, i cant learn anything and i end up focusing on the problem. I miss the big picture and God who is in control. There is nothing wrong noticing the risk being there but more importantly I should have focus on God who is greater than the risk. If God has called and shown the way, the risk is nothing because He is in control.
Just worrying doesnt help a single bit in life but worry and pray and trust in God and taking appropiate actions will do alot.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
The Battle Part 2
Here's the second part.. heezz.
Battle are literay fought daily n every now and then. So far the battles fought alot are spiritual, emotional, physical (to a certain extend). Psalm 23 come into my mind as part one was being written. Personally, i felt that alot of battle fought are base on my own strength, own abilities and own mental. That is the start of a defeat. Why would i say that? Fighting on the front with my abilities is like pride in a way depending on myself.
At the first, i might be winning away, defeating everything in sight. Victorious I might be but taking into consideration is that how long will i last. I will come to the point of the state where the "soldier totally shattered of hope, even the commander has ran away". Like in many times, OT (King era). Following the ways of man and depending on self, results in falling into many temptations and deviating from God. Even though, its obvious, but history repeats itself like a vicious cycle.
Its like trapped in a whirlpool that keeps dragging you into the centre which will result in disappearing into oblivion. A lot of strength and help is require to get out of it. Even in battles of life, its like a whirlpool effect. At the start, fighting it seems easy on our own but later it turn out that the person is dragged deeper and closer the centre. Not long, it's time to say good bye. God has always open the door for us and not only that He has been reminding and prompting us to depend on Him, trust in Him.
Psalm 23 is one of the verse that can be cling on and as a reminder of who God is. He is not only our shepherd but also the Lord and Commander of a the heavenly army. Even mentioned in NT, the world we fight are not of this world but of the spiritual. So how can we win with worldly equipment and weapons. What we need is God and seek His help.
Battle are literay fought daily n every now and then. So far the battles fought alot are spiritual, emotional, physical (to a certain extend). Psalm 23 come into my mind as part one was being written. Personally, i felt that alot of battle fought are base on my own strength, own abilities and own mental. That is the start of a defeat. Why would i say that? Fighting on the front with my abilities is like pride in a way depending on myself.
At the first, i might be winning away, defeating everything in sight. Victorious I might be but taking into consideration is that how long will i last. I will come to the point of the state where the "soldier totally shattered of hope, even the commander has ran away". Like in many times, OT (King era). Following the ways of man and depending on self, results in falling into many temptations and deviating from God. Even though, its obvious, but history repeats itself like a vicious cycle.
Its like trapped in a whirlpool that keeps dragging you into the centre which will result in disappearing into oblivion. A lot of strength and help is require to get out of it. Even in battles of life, its like a whirlpool effect. At the start, fighting it seems easy on our own but later it turn out that the person is dragged deeper and closer the centre. Not long, it's time to say good bye. God has always open the door for us and not only that He has been reminding and prompting us to depend on Him, trust in Him.
Psalm 23 is one of the verse that can be cling on and as a reminder of who God is. He is not only our shepherd but also the Lord and Commander of a the heavenly army. Even mentioned in NT, the world we fight are not of this world but of the spiritual. So how can we win with worldly equipment and weapons. What we need is God and seek His help.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
The battle Part 1
A battle thats needs to be fought. Yet so the soldier worn out by weariness and fatigue. Wondering what would the outcome of the battle. Day after day, night after night, gripping on to his sword and shield. Sweat dripped and flowed down his fore head and brow mixing with the tears. Pain and fear gripped him, wondering when the enemy will strike. Looking around, his comrades, some grimming away, some crying away and some shivering away.
The battle seems to be lost. Everyone seems to have crippled with circumstances and fear. Afterall, its been a long and weary battle. Silently, the soldier knelt down and started crying. From afar, sounds of horses and shouts. Looking ahead, the enemies were approaching at great speed. The soldier looked hopelessly around, none of his comrades were able to muster up any courage or energy to fight on. Is this the end? Just at the moment, he heard a gentle voice saying, "Why are you crying?" The soldier just couldn't speak a single word but continued to cry.
The gentle voice continued, "Do not cry. Stand up and fight". "Do not fear for the Lord of the Host is with you, the enemies will be defeated and the battle will be won". Slowly, every soldier look up. And before them, stands the Commander of the army, the Lord in His gleaming armour as bright as the sun and He is surrounded with air of majesty and authority. Despite of this, the soldiers felt peace, love, joy emitting from Him. He said, "Come to me and fight together with me!" "Let me have your burdens and I will lighten them." As the soldiers were astonished, they have never seem Him before. Their previous commander had deserted them and leaving them to fight alone. Together they decided to fight together with the Lord. The only hope for them was in Him and Him alone. As they stood up, all they had was tattered and broken armour, weapons. They couldn't help but wonder how could they fight in this.
Just this point, the army of the Lord arrive in their gleaming armour. Along with them, they have new armour. The Lord said,"Take off the old clothes and armour and wear this!" "For today the battle belongs to the Lord!" The soldiers quickly changed into the armour and prepare for the oncoming enemies. The Lord said, "Come and eat some food for you all have been fighting and are weary." "Do not fear, for I am with you!" The soldiers went to the table and started eating. The army of the Lord went ahead with the battle and defeated the enemies.
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The battle seems to be lost. Everyone seems to have crippled with circumstances and fear. Afterall, its been a long and weary battle. Silently, the soldier knelt down and started crying. From afar, sounds of horses and shouts. Looking ahead, the enemies were approaching at great speed. The soldier looked hopelessly around, none of his comrades were able to muster up any courage or energy to fight on. Is this the end? Just at the moment, he heard a gentle voice saying, "Why are you crying?" The soldier just couldn't speak a single word but continued to cry.
The gentle voice continued, "Do not cry. Stand up and fight". "Do not fear for the Lord of the Host is with you, the enemies will be defeated and the battle will be won". Slowly, every soldier look up. And before them, stands the Commander of the army, the Lord in His gleaming armour as bright as the sun and He is surrounded with air of majesty and authority. Despite of this, the soldiers felt peace, love, joy emitting from Him. He said, "Come to me and fight together with me!" "Let me have your burdens and I will lighten them." As the soldiers were astonished, they have never seem Him before. Their previous commander had deserted them and leaving them to fight alone. Together they decided to fight together with the Lord. The only hope for them was in Him and Him alone. As they stood up, all they had was tattered and broken armour, weapons. They couldn't help but wonder how could they fight in this.
Just this point, the army of the Lord arrive in their gleaming armour. Along with them, they have new armour. The Lord said,"Take off the old clothes and armour and wear this!" "For today the battle belongs to the Lord!" The soldiers quickly changed into the armour and prepare for the oncoming enemies. The Lord said, "Come and eat some food for you all have been fighting and are weary." "Do not fear, for I am with you!" The soldiers went to the table and started eating. The army of the Lord went ahead with the battle and defeated the enemies.
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Saturday, July 21, 2007
Still havent blog on the mission trip yet.. but still want to put it on hold. Today, i finally made the decision.. to give up.. really to give up. Feeling for her... desires, everything.. giving it up. It took me a long time.. everytime i tried to give up somehow it stucks on. Finally today the decision was made.. i will continue to pray for her and the other guy. I mus admit the feeling of doing it really pure discomfort.. but it will serve well.
Jus remember what God said to me thru' Ben.. "COMPLETE.. God wants you to be complete in Him.. and completely belong to Him." Basically, to be complete in God and be completely His, is to give up everything to Him and let His will and Spirit fill me to the brim. And everything tt is done is to for God and to bring glory to Him.. i will strive to achieve that.
Jus remember what God said to me thru' Ben.. "COMPLETE.. God wants you to be complete in Him.. and completely belong to Him." Basically, to be complete in God and be completely His, is to give up everything to Him and let His will and Spirit fill me to the brim. And everything tt is done is to for God and to bring glory to Him.. i will strive to achieve that.
"To be the man after God's own heart"
"To serve God and let His will and plan be my"
"My life only for the Lord"
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Hmm.. after much thought.. today decided to make the decision. Well.. it's to give up on the girl tt i like. Even from the start been trying too hard to control feelings but rather now i am converting the feelings to that of a brotherly feelings to his young sister. The sourness will be there.. but in the end it seems to be the best remedy.
Will continue to pray for them, maybe not long after they will be together. They do match each other in terms of talents and character. Standing together makes them seems like a couple. Couple of times.. saw a pic of a piece of wood and a wedge seems to be driving into it splitting it into two. The wedge is like me.. quite a lot of times.. seems to be caught in situations tt make me feel like a wedge.. and i rather not be there.
At the end, jus wanted the best for her and well this option seems to be the best so i should take it. Probably this will never get out to anyone.. cos it will cause heaps of percussion effect.. which i felt might happen. So hav to endure it..
Will continue to pray for them, maybe not long after they will be together. They do match each other in terms of talents and character. Standing together makes them seems like a couple. Couple of times.. saw a pic of a piece of wood and a wedge seems to be driving into it splitting it into two. The wedge is like me.. quite a lot of times.. seems to be caught in situations tt make me feel like a wedge.. and i rather not be there.
At the end, jus wanted the best for her and well this option seems to be the best so i should take it. Probably this will never get out to anyone.. cos it will cause heaps of percussion effect.. which i felt might happen. So hav to endure it..
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Its a foregone conclusion... yeah pretty much. Today is the best day, i ever felt after the days n weeks of tiredness and tears. Probably coming to the point where i dun really feel tt sad. It still hangs around but not as bad though. Prayer does help still the main test is coming
Still thk God i have graduate from QUT finally!! Now is really the time to get on to the next chapter. The focus isnt on her and but rather the plans of getting into Canada and preparing for the call. Trust and depend on God... but still tired and drained. Keep dozing off ahh.. Will still keep praying for the both of them...
Still thk God i have graduate from QUT finally!! Now is really the time to get on to the next chapter. The focus isnt on her and but rather the plans of getting into Canada and preparing for the call. Trust and depend on God... but still tired and drained. Keep dozing off ahh.. Will still keep praying for the both of them...
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